meet me or not, i'm out of control
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
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