Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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