"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
