so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
