Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
