Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
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