Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
