It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
