this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
