I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
