i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Even my vagina gasped.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Randomize
