whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Randomize
