.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
