She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
