So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
