I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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