I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
