it was like eating out sand paper
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
