hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
