Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
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