Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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