We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
