I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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