If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
