I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Houston, we have a blender
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
