I'm jealous of your bromance
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Randomize
