That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
