i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
