Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
