if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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