It's chlamydia! Thank God!
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future�
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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