and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Randomize
