Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
