remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
