she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
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