i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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