i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
