I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
