Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
