I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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