if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
