And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
