know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
