just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
