Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
