fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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