i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
