New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
