Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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