I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
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