there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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