I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
