Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
He passed out mid-signature
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Randomize
