Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize