The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
