she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
