Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
