Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
i think i have herpe
just one?
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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