Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
