Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
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