When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
