What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
